Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Monday, September 27, 2010

Childing: The kids' side of parenting

The boy
I spent about 15 minutes on the phone with my son - he asked me to guess his favorite Football team. The Colts. Right.

Second Favorite? I just couldn't remember and then he gave me hints. The Broncos.

Third favorite? Omg - there're three? uhhhh -

Look, he's 7 and I don't follow football. Clearly - that's going to have to change. I told him I would start watching so we can talk about it. Seems he spends sundays at his moms watching FOOTBALL. *sigh*

The girl
My girl was acting a fool and really doing things that were uncharacteristic of her. I confronted her about it - gave her examples of her behavior, that usually pointed to her being rude to me. It told her she needed to think about it really good because I was expecting her to tell me WHY she was behaving this way.

later that day, she told me that I always do things for her brother but not for her ... and SHE had examples: I read him a bed time story ... she has to ask me to tuck her into bed ... etc. etc.

Now, that bedtime story? My son ASKED me to read it. I don't do it on the regular now because ... well, folks - they know how to fucking read!

Tucking her in? My son hit the mattress and is asleep in 0.4 seconds. So, I go in there with him to tuck him in. She, on the other hand, gets up to get water ... then gets up to pee, then reads ... and when she's ready to go to sleep, she calls me in to tuck her in.

So, I'm not playing favorites, but clearly she's noticed that there are differences. So, I explained the differences to her from my perspective and that I wasn't trying to play favorites. I loved on her and we talked for a good long while. And I could tell she felt like daddy's little girl again.

The dad
I learned a lot in September.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I did it!

On January 4, 2010, I quit smoking. Sometime in April, I signed up to raise $1200 for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago and run the Chicago Half Marathon. On Sunday, I crossed the finish line!

I trained all summer for this thing, taking four weeks off to do physical therapy on account of my knee fucking with me. But I did it - I did all my exercises and stretches and everything I needed to do to get back in it. And yet still, about mile 6, my knees ached. At mile 7 they bothered me. At mile 8 they officially hurt. At mile 9, I walked a lot more. From mile 10 - 11.5 ... I walked exclusively ... and then I just dug in deep and ran through the pain.

The course was beautiful, up Lake Shore Drive on Chicago's south side with a gorgeous view of the city and a perfect sunny, humidity-free day for running. My children were there cheering for everyone and waiting for me at the finish line ... and it was all just so fucking GREAT.

But I learned late in the race that all of my training, all of my fund raising, that entire race ... it was all about the last 2-300 yards to the finish line. I cannot explain the flurry of emotions I underwent as I approached the finish line. I screamed, I pumped my fists, I sobbed (but quickly got it together!) ... I felt proud, happy, glad my children were there ... I felt, EVERYTHING. For 2-300 yards. EVERYTHING.

And then I crossed the finish line, grabbed fists full of chocolate chip cookies and bananas (look, that's all they had!) and stuffed. my GOT-damn. face. Because, BBAABBBYYYY, I was hungry.

To anyone disabled by HIV and/or AIDS and relies on the AIDS Foundation for food, shelter, medicines and support ... I really had no idea what you go through. No idea. I'll gladly sign up again to do this again in 2011 ... and I'll be bringing people with me to fund raise and run.

To any reader who feels so led: here is my fund raising page. If it's a penny, we'll take it!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Back and Forth

I must admit that sometimes I'm not so optimistic about finding the right guy for me - other times I'm expectant and just know it's going to happen for me. Right now? Eh, kinda down.

I don't know how to explain it - but I do know that I appreciate my mountain tops because when I'm in a valley like I am now I miss them. It happens to me during holidays - even though Labor Day weekend has never meant much to me, I always feel like everyone else has something to do - and I never do.

I suppose that's why I try to schedule something during the holidays to try and host dinner or whatever - but I don't always do it. I made zero plans for this weekend and I've found myself feeling down in the dumps - it sucks.

But I'll bounce back - I always do. I'm teaching this week and being on platform has a way of making things disappear. I get into that zone and it's a good thing for me ... even if what I'm teaching is relatively boring material.

Anyway - I've been texting quite a bit with my date of last week - that's promising. And I think I'm just ready to go back to Chicago. Indianapolis can really depress me.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Condoms and lube

I was cleaning out my work bag and there's this zipped compartment that I never go into and when I opened it, it was full of condoms, female condoms, and lube ... and I had totally forgotten about all that nonsense JACK carried around.

I admit I was a little bit disappointed in me for having need to carry all of that around with me in order to be ready at a moments notice to add another notch to my bedpost. It feels good to be past it.

I had a date earlier this week with a really sweet guy. We talked a lot and laughed a lot and all in all it was a decent, normal date. We walked to the red line together - I heading north and he south. We hugged and kissed on the cheek and said our goodbyes. And texted all the way home.

Reminded me of this old song ... remember this?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Happy Birthday Papito

My son turns seven today. I can't believe it - he's my youngest and he's SEVEN!

Today, it's all about him - his affection, his smarts, his sheer good looks, his sense of humor - the totality of him .. HIS day.

He makes me a better dad - and can make me feel so unconditionally loved, like no man can. He is focused, loves his Wii and anything hot wheels ... and I can't wait for him to come home and enjoy the evening with him. I won't even make him go to bed early even though it's a school night!

(Don't tell him mom!)

Because I knew your name before I was old enough to vote ... because you are more than everything I imagined a son could be ... because you taught me the ability to love more ... because you're you ...